Just for your information: Both officers testify to macing me.  One said he maced me because (with the handcuffs on) I was "crawling towards the other officer" who at that time was holding a gun.  I guess he thought I was a threat to bite the officer... {On the serious side: after I knocked the can of mace from Morespray, I never moved without an officer telling me to.} 

Six eyewitnesses have already testified that the macing started the physical part of this encounter. 

While being maced, I grabbed the wrist of the officer that was spraying mace on me from behind (Officer Morespray).  We then bumped into each other.  We pushed closer to a car. 

All of the eyewitness testimony states that the incident started with the wrist holding incident or the bumping or pushing the officer towards the car.  The error in the testimony -- probably induced by the police interrogator -- is that this officer was Officer Frankenstein.  It was not and it could not have been him.  This officer was Morespray. 

This means that six people have essentially confirmed that the macing started the incident. 

In conclusion: A premature ejaculation of mace started the wrestling.  I'd laugh, but it hurts my wallet too much. 

I received, today, the attached letter, which appears obviously to be some absurd Halloween Joke sent by someone in your behalf.  I hope and trust that you are adult enough never to send out such a stupid or absurd transmission.  Just in case there exists a possibility that you were somehow aware of this absurd attachment, please let me clarify some basic facts for you. 

Unless I miss something, your wallet appears to be something that should neither hurt or be aggravated.  I say this because your wallet has neither opened, nor have you had to reach into it to assist in the payment of your legal services.  I trust that you fully understand, however, that if this letter is somehow a demand for a trial that this will change and you will be required, prior to trial, to post several thousands of dollars to cover the massive defense that you appear to want to amass. 

The sum and substance of the attachment is nonsense, both in fact and in law.  The simple truth of the matter is that Father arrived on the scene totally and completely out of control and acting, to be candid, like the idiot that authored this letter.  Father touched a police office and did so with the intent to do so and obviously, with the intelligence of the idiot that authored this letter.  This is what all of the witnesses will say. 

I fail to see, to date, that you have six witnesses that will do anything, but put you in jail or at the minimum, get you convicted.  If you believe truly that you do so these witnesses, then please list them and their testimony in detail and arrange for each to be interviewed at my office. 

Just in case I am not being very, very clear, the offer presented to you is an excellent on that  you have ten days to accept in writing, by notice delivered to this office.  If you fail to do so, then you are advised that you do so at your peril.  Your inquiries, letters, conferences, demands, faxes, etc. have eaten into just about all of the time that might be available to you under the teachers program and thus, at the same deadline date, it is requested that you post the sum of $3,500.00, so that this office can begin to prepare this case, as you would say, at your expenses. 

Father, I appreciate the stress that this may cause you, but I trust that as an attorney and as a friend that I am making myself clear.  You have to stop this childish nonsense and deal with this matter in a professional manner.  Understand fully that you and Sonofagun will have to live with the outcome caused by your actions.  The decision to go forward or to resolve this matter by way of the agreements presented to you is and always will be your decision to make, but it does have to be made, and acknowledged in Court. 

Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter.